The Storm

Today, while I was at the Preschool, I started thinking about the weather we've been having lately. It's cool and sunny during the day, but it quickly grows chilly before the sun has a chance to fully retreat. And that got me thinking... isn't that so much like our life as Believers? We do our best to be a light to others in a dark and cold world, but we aren't always spared from the temperature drops. Sometimes, we are soaked by the same storms that unbelievers are. It seems that no one can escape it...not even the President.






I love my 30 minute drive to and from work because I get to enjoy the beautiful scenery without being exposed to the elements (not that there are often "elements" to complain about in San Diego). If I'm cold, I can turn my heater on to 90, or can drop it down to 71 if I'm feeling particularly hot. Nonetheless, it's my perfect little haven for 60 minutes each day that provides a place where I feel..."comfortable". And that got me thinking too...

It seems that there is often an a misconception among Believers that we are somehow spared from the tragedies of life once we accept Christ as our Savior. Perhaps we think that since Christ paid the penalty for our sins and washed them away with His blood, he must have taken all our pain, suffering, and trials along with it. But the Bible doesn't say anything like that. In fact, it states quite the opposite:

"Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." -James 1:2-4

"Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him." -1 James 1:12

"So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you have to endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world." -1 Peter 1:6 & 7

So what exactly is my point in all this?...





The storms of life are going to come. Period. And we have an important decision to make: Are we going to sink or swim? We can choose to go it alone or to hold on to our Savior for dear life. After all, isn't He the Giver of Life? Where can we find greater safety than under the shelter of His wings?

"Guard me as you would guard your own eyes. Hide me in the shadow of your wings." -Psalm 17:8

"How precious is your unfailing love, O God! All humanity finds shelter in the shadow of your wings." -Psalm 36:7

"Let me live forever in your sanctuary, safe beneath the shelter of your wings!" -Psalm 61:4

When the storms of life come, are we going be like the Titanic, which was once thought to be "Indestructible", yet ended up sinking when Winter brought forth its dangerous elements?






Dear friends, when the storms of life come, let us not turn our eyes away from our Savior. Instead, let us embrace our challenges with our heads held high and our hands lifted up towards Heaven...

"Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God." -Colossians 3:2 & 3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'll praise you in this storm

And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

(Chorus to "Praise You in This Storm" by Casting Crowns)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




"Arise, Jerusalem! Let your light shine for all to see! For the glory of the Lord rises to shine on you!"

-Isaiah 60:1

The Waiting Room

When most people hear the words "Please sit in the Waiting Room and wait for your name to be called", rarely is it associated with a feeling of comfort. For many and most, waiting means more time to worry. Whether at the Vet, the Doctor, or the Hospital, for those awaiting the test results of an uncertain future, the Waiting Room can feel like an emotional Death Row. Many would agree that the hardest part of life is the waiting period. We often find the unknown far more frightening than reality itself. Because fear begins in our mind, it's easy to see how the more time we have to think, the more fearful we become.

The Waiting Room theory can be true in our daily lives as well. As the journey becomes more difficult and the road ahead more foggy, we find ourselves in a state of waiting. We question anything and everyone around us, trying to get some idea of what we can expect in the days to come. The problem is, there's only One who knows our future and He's not telling.






Trust. For many of us, trusting God can be likened to walking blindfolded down a dark alley. We don't feel safe unless we can see each step with our own eyes and choose each path for ourselves. We have somehow been convinced that we can make better choices than the One who created us. Although His perspective is Eternal and ours is limited, we have bought the lie that if we want it done right, we must do it ourselves.







While life certainly has its dark alleys, we must not let fear blind us to the truth. As Christ said to His disciples in Mark 4:40: "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith at all?"


What does it mean to have faith?


According to Hebrews 11:1 "Faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see."


So am I saying that faith means trusting God even we can't comprehend His reasoning?


Yes! "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight." (Proverbs 3:5 & 6)







As President Roosevelt put it, "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself." How true it is!


So what is the opposite of fear and where can it be found?


The opposite of fear is love. "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love." -1 John 4:18


How does love manifest itself and what are the characteristics of love?


"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." -1 Corinthians 13:4-8a


So where did love come from and what exactly IS love?


1 John 4:7 & 8 tells us: "Dear Friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love."







If God is love and the absence if love is fear, than the only thing truly worth fearing is the absence of God in our lives. For those who have received the gift of Salvation we have nothing to fear because we have accepted the Lord in our hearts... God and fear cannot occupy the same space. For those who do not believe, however, their fear is justified for they don't have the assurance of Salvation.







At this point you're probably wondering what Salvation has to do with the waiting period of life. Sure, it's great to have the Holy Spirit to guide us, but that doesn't make it easy to trust when the future seems so hazy. We need something tangible... a sort of promise that trusting the Lord, even when we don't understand Him, produces the best outcome. In these moments, when fear sets in and we wonder what on Earth we're doing, we must look to the Holy Word and rest on the promise of Jeremiah 29:11: " 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.' "


Then what?


"Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me if you seek me with all your heart." (Jeremiah 29:12)







You see, friends, trials are an inevitable part of life. Since we have no choice but to sit in the Waiting Room in anticipation of the outcome, the greatest thing we can do is seek the Lord's will for us during these times. The choice is ours: Sit and wait in fear, or Seek the Lord and trust. Just remember that a question not quickly answered by the Lord may be used to build patience in us. Either way we look at it, we can be assured of this:


"Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and the door shall be opened unto you."

- Matthew 7:7

~~ The Beauty of Hope ~~

Hope. A word so powerful that it can mean the difference between life and death. Without hope there is no reason to go on, no reason to try, and no reason to believe that there's anything worth holding on to. Without hope our life is but a passing wind... a flower that withers away into nothingness. Our lives have no passion, no direction, no purpose if we don't have hope. But where can this hope be found?

For those of us who have come to know the Lord on a deeply personal level, our joy in Him overflows! We bow our hearts in prayer, meditate on His Word day and night, and see Creation as His divine artwork. We smile as we watch the rain fall from the sky and remember His promise when we see the rainbow that follows the storm. In these things we find hope. Although life has it's troubles, and some may seem unbearable, at the end of the day we have the assurance of Eternity to hold on to. Our hope is found in Salvation and "nothing can separate us from the love of God that is found in Christ Jesus." (Romans 8:38 & 39).

But what about the broken? What about the souls so deperately in need of a Savior? What about those who would give anything to hear the message of Salvation? Oh, if only we'd look past the outer appearance. The Holy Word tells us that "man looks at the outer appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." (1 Samuel 16:7) I long for His Eternal perspective.

How convicted I was this morning as I listened to "Does Anybody Hear Her?" by Casting Crowns. How many times throughout my life have I walked past another and been completely disgusted at their lifestyle? How many times have I chosen not to speak to someone new at church because of the way they were dressed or how they spoke? It breaks my heart as I consider how many people never came back because they felt so judged and alone. If only I would have reached out...

Forgive me, Lord, for forgetting that Your desire is that none should perish. Forgive me, Lord, for overlooking the very hearts you have brought into my life to touch. Lord, give me Your eyes so I can see the tears behind the smile. Give me Your ears so I can hear the silent cries of the broken. Give me Your touch so I can reach out to the lost. And give me Your heart, Lord, so I can love the unlovable.

But is there hope for us to change? Is there even a chance that we will leave behind the pedistal we've built for ourselves and choose instead to seek the lost? And when we find them, how do we convince them of the hope that is found in Christ alone? What if they reject us? What shall we do then?

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." ~Romans 12:12

And what shall we do then, Lord? Where will you lead us and for how long must we endure the rejection of the world?

"And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us." ~Romans 5:2b-5

But what if we see no results? What if we keep praying, keep hoping, keep perservering and still cannot see if we are making a difference?

"For faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." ~Hebrews 11:1

Oh Lord, at times I grow so weary of resisting the enemy. My human body limits me... my spirit is willing but my flesh is weak. Where can I find the strength to go on when my flesh refuses the journey?

"But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." ~Isaiah 40:31

I see it clearly now, Lord. Your desire is that I should plant seeds, but it's up to you to water them and make them grow.

"Other men see only a hopeless end, but the Christian rejoices in an endless hope."

~ Gilbert M. Beeken

Give Me Your Eyes

How bittersweet it is when I find a touching song. My heart breaks, my soul longs for more, and my spirit feels a contentedness in nothing but the arms of my Savior. No matter how much we love another, it never compares to the perfect love that God has for us. Not just His children, but the blind and the broken of this world as well. His impartiality is amazing and I wonder if I will ever understand it.







Do you ever sit in a coffee shop, take a walk in the park, or stand in line at the airport and take a moment to look at the people around you? Not just a glance, but a peering into the soul? I'm brought to tears nearly every day as the Lord allows me to look into the heart of perfect strangers. I never fail to be touched beyond words as the struggles, the fears, and the dreams of another flash before my eyes. It's like watching a silent film with the actors sitting beside you tell you each thought and feeling they had during that part of the movie.


A washing came over me this morning as I spent my quiet time with the Lord. I awoke with a burdened heart and I knew instantly what the cause of it was. Sometimes it's a guessing game and it takes much prayer to determine the cause. This morning, however, the answer was clear as crystal.


Falling down on my face as my eyes filled with tears, I asked the Lord to forgive me for my selfcenteredness. How I waste my time trying to make things work out my way instead of allowing God to lead my every step. It is a constant battle and I often wonder if I tire the Lord with my stubborness. If I know that God's plans are better than my own, why do I keep pressing to do things my way? My plans fall short and I always end up wishing I had done things His way.

I ran across a song today that reminded me how much the Lord has changed my view of people. I used to look at them with no empathy and with little consideration about anything besides what was happening in my life at that time. Over time and the closer I have grown to God the more the way I see the world has changed. He has healed my vision so that I now see others and life's situations through His eyes. Although I now stand at the crossroad of life I stand without fear for, although the way is unclear to my human eyes, I find comfort in knowing that the Holy Spirit will show me the way.

Dare to trust the Lord in all things. It's worth the sacrifice. It's worth the journey. It's worth the search and worth the praying. It's worth everything.

Take a look at the people around you. The Lord has caused each of them to cross your path for a specific reason. Where your instincts are to judge, choose instead to pray. Where your instincts are to be angry, choose instead to smile. Where your insticts are to ignore, choose instead to reach out. Where your instincts are to hurt, choose instead to be kind. Where your human nature tells you to retaliate, choose instead to love. And where your flesh tells you to turn a blind eye to the pain around you, choose instead to see.

Give me Your eyes for just one second

Give me Your eyes so I can see

Everything that I've been missing

Give me Your love for humanity

Give me Your arms for the broken hearted

Ones that are far beyond my reach

Give me Your heart for the ones forgotten

Give me Your eyes so I can see

Father, give me a heart like yours.

*********************************

Brandon Heath - Give Me Your Eyes <~~ Be Touched

The Greatest Question Ever Asked

If you're anything like me you probably get a kick out of the hilarious questions that seem to find their way out of a child's mouth. I myself find it hard to keep from laughing when I hear some of the thoughts that swim around in their little heads. I've had to work at keeping a straight face when such questions arise because, if you haven't noticed, kids take their questions and your answers to those questions very seriously.






Who among us hasn't, at one time or another, been asked the age old question "Why is the sky blue?" or, better yet, "Where do babies come from?" Although there is only one answer to each of these questions, you will find that rarely is the true answer ever articulated. In fact, it's become the norm to respond with a false answer. Here are some typical responses a child receives in regards to the second question:

While I'll admit that I found the above responses quite humorous, it also made me question what it is about the Truth that makes it so difficult to tell. Do we purposely give children false answers because we get a kick out of knowing they'll believe every word we say? Is it that we ourselves aren't sure what the real answer is? Or could it be that we don't find the Truth to be as interesting as the answers we make up? Whatever the case may be, I can't help but think of the words found in John 8:32:

"Then you will know the Truth and the Truth will set you free."

Perhaps the reason I so deeply consider this subject is because I have always been a Truth-seeker. It makes me smile as I recall the times as a child when I would ask my parents "why?" after every question they would answer. By the time I got to the eleventh "why?" my parents would say, "You're just playing games. Go outside and play." Every time they would say this I would end up walking away frustrated and confused. I longed to know the true answers to my questions. It hurt me to think that my parents were keeping the answers from me when I wanted desperately to know the Truth.

I recently received an e-mail from a Christian teenage boy who asked me and three other women what our opinion was on girls wearing bikinis. Were we for or against them? Do we think it's wrong or do we think it's not a big deal? My heart went out to the boy as the three women proceeded to tease him about the way he worded his question, the fact that he wasn't knowledgable about different styles of swimsuits, and the fact that he was letting the question bother him in the first place. My heart broke as he told the women that he was now embarrassed that he asked. The Lord burdened my heart to write him a private e-mail sharing with him what the Word of God says about the topic and to tell him that I wish more people would seek the Truth like he does. The words of my e-mail were Spirit-filled and full of Scripture. The boy responded to my e-mail by telling me that this was exactly the answer he was looking for and thanked me profusely for sharing it with him.

I don't tell you this story to elevate myself, for the words were the Lord's alone. I share this with you so that you may consider the importance of questions and the value of the Truth. How I pray that we make the choice, from this day forward, to adopt a Biblical worldview and to hold to the wisdom found in Scripture, even when it's inconvenient. Who has ever made a difference by doing what was easy or convenient? It's those who dare to start brushfires in the minds of others that will find that the only thing left standing in the end is the Truth.

May we cherish every time someone asks us "why?" and may we also come to realize that every answer we give may determine whether someone walks in the darkness of the world or the light of God's Truth.

"Keep asking, and it will be given to you. Keep searching, and you will find. Keep knocking, and the door will be opened for you."

~ Matthew 7:7

Kansas City Teaser

There's rarely a good excuse for taking so long to write a new post, but if I tell you that I've been visiting family out of state does that count? I could probably get away with that one as long as I don't tell you that the place I stayed had 4 computers with internet access. Oops. :P

I'm going to keep this teaser short and sweet... a first for me!

Chris and I had an absolutely tremendous time with my family this past weekend. The response we received was beyond our deepest prayers. The blessings have been endless and I can't wait to share with you in person exactly what happened and what was said!

My oldest sister Heather received a really nice camera for Christmas last year and asked if she could take some photos of Chris and me. We went all over Kansas City and enjoyed the many locations. The only downside was that it was VERY windy that day, so I look a bit "wind blown" in my pictures. Oh well! She took hundreds of pictures of us, so it will take a while before she can get them uploaded. In the mean time, I have two pictures to tide you over! More to come, along with many more details about the trip!

"God reserves the very best for those who leave the choice to Him."

Remember When We Danced

Some of you have asked me how I came up with the name for my blog. What is it referring to and who is it that I long to remember dancing with?

It was nearly 4 years ago that I decided to live a life in abadon of the world. To grab hold of the One who holds my heart in the palm of His hand and allow myself to be swept up in His love. I remember those days as if it were yesterday. The emotions I felt then are still with me now. It was a feeling of freedom, of complete surrender. The world's promises always came up void and I longed to know imtimately what true love really was.


It's funny to look back on my earlier days of Salvation and see how the Lord was shaping me and refining me even back then. Each step I took would serve a higher purpose in the days to come. Little did I know that each experience, each trial and persecution I faced, each tear that fell from the face of a broken child, would bring me one step closer to the Truth that sets me free today.


When I moved back to California in January of last year I made the choice to put all distractions aside and spend a year focusing on my walk with the Lord. Each night after work I would spend an hour sitting on the cliffs overlooking the ocean and just talk to God. I would share my hopes, my dreams, my passions and ambitions, my biggest fears and my greatest disappointments. It was in those moments, when I allowed my heart to be caught up in the presence of God, that I found myself falling in love with Him all over again. I remember the moments when my human heart could not contain the love I felt for Him. I was convinced that it would burst at any moment. Lord, I could not possibly love you more than I do right now. But, day after day, as I found my love for the Lord increasing, I found my love for others growing as well. I finally understood what it was like to see the world through the Lord's eyes and not the imperfection of my own.

I pondered many things in my heart during those quiet times with the Lord. Witnessing firsthand the beauty of His creation, the tenderness of His touch, and the intimacy of time spent in His presence, I found myself speechless. How could the God who spoke creation into being be so interested in me? I felt so undeserving of His love.


One of my daily prayers as I sat upon the cliffs was for the Lord to tell my future husband that I love him and that I can't wait until we have our first dance as husband and wife. As time passed, I found myself more and more distracted with thoughts of what he would be like and when I would meet him. One day, while thinking of him as I watched the waves crash upon the shore, tears of sorrow began to fill my eyes. I realized that I had spent so much of my day thinking and imagining my future husband when I already had the most perfect groom. I am the bride of Christ. My groom showed me the greatest love on Earth by giving up His life in order to save mine. Who forgets their first and truest love? I am so sorry, Lord. How could I have forgotten? Oh how I wept.

In the humble moments that followed my weeping, I felt the Lord lifting my head. "Come down to the water, My Darling" He whispered, "I have something for you." As I picked myself up and walked to the place where the waves meet the sand, I felt the Spirit in me stop. What is it, Jesus? What do You have for me? My eyes looked down at the sand as my eyes fell on a single purple flower resting beside my feet. As I picked up the precious flower and held it close to my heart, I looked up to the heavens. At that moment I felt the tender voice of my groom whispering, "I love you, Kelley. Will you dance with me?"


As I write these words to you, dear friends, I am so overcome that I don't feel as if I can continue writing. And so I will leave you with the words that I wrote to my groom the morning after we danced together by the sea with a purple flower in my hand.

"REMEMBER WHEN WE DANCED"

Good morning, O True Love of Mine
I dreamt of You last night
You carried me away with You
I never left Your sight

You brought me to a secret place
And smiled when I drew close
Your eyes were filled with tenderness
With every word I spoke

You took my hand and led me forth
Onto a blessed hill
That overlooked a sparkling sea
Of golden stars was filled

Though beautiful the sight had been
A glace You never took
Your eyes were fixed on me
And so I asked, "Why don't You look?"

"My Precious Love," You said to me,
"How can I watch the sea
When what's most beautiful of all
Is standing next to me?"

As tears began to fill my eyes
You gently kissed my hand
And asked me with a tender voice
If I would like to dance

The hours seemed like minutes
While we danced beneath the sky

As raindrops falling down from Heaven
Never let us dry

And when the choir of angels singing
Sang their final song
You whispered in my ear,
"How I've loved you for so long!

From the moment that My Father made you
I prayed that you'd be Mine
And I gave My life in hopes one day
Eternal Life you'd find

And when I heard you call My name
Some sixteen years ago
And say that you had chosen Me
And wanted Me to know...

I thought I'd died and gone to Heaven
For a second time
I fell down at My Father's feet
With tears of joy I cried

You see, I've waited all My life
To finally have the chance
To stand beside the one I love
And ask her for this dance

And now that you have finally come
I can't believe my eyes
For you are far more beautiful
Than I ever realized

And I can't wait until
You'll be forever by My side
And we'll walk the streets My Father built
And you will be My bride

But until then, My Precious One
If you should get a chance
Whenever you see raindrops
Please remember when we danced

And know that I will come for you
Though you will not know when
I promise you, my Dearest Love,
That we will dance again."

My Precious Lord, my Truest Love,
I have no words to say
And so I simply pray for rain
And wait until that day.

---------------------------

by Kelley Downing

12/06/2008

The Heart of Worship

As many of you know, I led worship for a women's retreat last weekend. I was so excited for it to come and had been preparing months in advance. Don't you love it when you learn more than you ever anticipated? The theme of the lesson was "Satan's Lies vs. God's Truth". Oh how I needed this lesson! The Truth Project study I've been doing has been so transforming in that department and I was excited to get to solidify my learnings.

I arrived at the retreat on Friday, sang, played the guitar, and led worship. Then the teaching began. The message was so profound and hit me so hard that I knew I needed to spend some time alone with God that night in the Word and prayer. So I read the Word, I prayed, and I journaled.

These were the words of prayer that I wrote to the Lord that night...


"You say You search me and You know me, God, so search me through and through. Do You find me to be contaminated? Are you offended by what You see? All I wanted was to be beautiful, Lord... completely and uniquely set apart. It seems, however, that I have turned out just like everybody else... in search of significance in a place I'll never find it.

If there's one thing I've learned it's that the world, the 'all knowing' world doesn't know a thing. They walk around thinking that they hold the answer to every question and the Truth to every thought... but the world is a liar... and I have believed them.

I long to know the Truth, the whole Truth, and nothing but the Truth. Living a lie is to be truly and completely held captive. Lies imprison our hearts and convince us that we are what the world says we are... that we will only ever be that which they declare us to be. I'm done with living a lie, Lord. How I long to be set free from every worldly chain I carry. I want freedom, Lord, and I'm ready to give up everything for it.

'Then you will know the Truth and the Truth will set you free!' - John 8:32"


The Question

Prayer is a spiritual gift of mine and Lord has faithfully answered each of them. When I prayed that I was willing to give up everything in order to be freed of my worldly chains, I meant it... and I knew that He would answer that prayer in a difficult but necessary way. Be careful what you pray for, Kelley.





When I woke up the next morning (Saturday) I pulled out my guitar to practice worship for that day and I immediately stopped. My voice was gone. My speaking voice was strained and my singing voice had almost disappeared completely. By the time Sunday morning rolled around the only sound coming from my mouth was complete silence. I could not sing and I couldn't speak at all. Not a word. I was so frustrated. I couldn't believe it all was gone... though, deep down, I really was not surprised. I just didn't understand... I was there to serve and to lead these women in worship. The Lord gave me the gift of song and of music. How can I lead if I have no voice, God?


The Truth

The Lord taught me a very important lesson that Sunday morning. You see, we Believers often have the false impression that spiritual gifts cannot be used for our own glory. Because "spiritual gifts" are esteemed over plain old talent, we assume that our motives are always pure and true when we are using them. The Truth is... when all is said and done, spiritual gifts are used to bless us, bless the Lord, and bless others... but they don't make us who we are or determine our value in the Lord's eyes. He loves us because He chooses to... not because we did anything or could ever do anything to earn His love.

The message of the weekend, based on the book The Search For Significance, was not to base our self-worth on things, or people, or abilities. While I didn't understand at first why the Lord would take away the gift of leading in music, which was the main reason I was there in the first place, He made it clear to me that morning...

"When the music fades and all is stripped away... I simply come."

The heart of worship is not about music or singing, it's a state of surrendering the lies of our hearts in exchange for the Truth that's found in God's presence. You see, I had mistakenly believed that my worship was inferior if my voice could not be heard with human ears. How wrong I was. Worship is an act of the heart, not an act of our voice. Tears filled my eyes as the Lord whispered to my heart, "Precious Child, even if your body fails you, your talents give way, and your spiritual gifts are nowhere to be found... I still love you."



The Truth Will Set You Free

When the retreat finally came to a close that Sunday morning and all the equipment was put away, I made one final trip to my room to grab my bags and my guitar and bring them to the car. As I descended the stairs I had one of my favorite worship songs playing over and over in my head. Out of habit I opened my mouth to sing...

"There's a cry in my heart for Your glory to fall

For Your presence to fill up my senses..."

My eyes quickly filled with tears as I heard my voice sing clearly first the first time in 2 days. He gad given me my voice back as if it had never left me. Now that I knew the Truth, my voice had finally been freed to worship Him with a true heart of worship. For I finally believed these precious words in my heart...

I am deeply loved

I am completely forgiven

I am fully pleasing

I am totally accepted...

... and...

...COMPLETE IN CHRIST.

I will never forget that moment as long as I live.

Something Old, Something New

Do you ever have days when you feel just plain sentimental? I sure do. In fact, today's my lucky day! Taking a stroll down memory lane, even if it wasn't THAT long ago, always leaves me feeling nostalgic. These moments are bittersweet, but I am choosing to embrace them today.


Flipping through pictures from a couple of years ago, I found photos of my family at my sister Sarah's wedding. I smile whenever I see them. It seems so long ago to me.



I love this first picture. Even though we are all wearing beautiful dresses and holding flowers, it still reminds me of being on a rollercoaster.








Even girls with big mouths can show their softer side...








Who can reach the finish line first? I would have won for sure if Kevin hadn't pushed me out of the way. The little cheater!





Giving my Maid of Honor speech... I don't remember exactly what I said, but apparently it was pretty funny!





And the best part of all... I caught the bouquet! According to tradition, that means that I'll be the next one to get married. :)




Something New


How humbling and encouraging to receive a very special award from two very beautiful Proverbs 31 wives...

What I especially love about this award is the meaning behind it:

"These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated."

Veronica and Natalie... thank you so much for the sweet words and encouragement! Our desire is to do all things "As unto the Lord" (Colossians 3:23) and I love that our blogs are no different!


I only have 4 friends here on Blogspot, so that makes giving out the award very easy... EVERYONE GETS ONE! :)


And the Award Goes To...

#1. Veronica over at Luv My Arrows. From the very first moment I met Veronica I felt as though I had known her for years. Our mutual love for the Lord, children, and the White family made us instant sisters at heart and in spirit. My favorite thing about her is that she is one of the most genuinely kind and beautiful women I have ever met. If you want evidence of her dedication to the Lord, you need not look further than her family. "Her children call her blessed and her husband praises her." I love her dearly and always look forward to reading the treasured moments she shares with us on her blog! This woman is the epitome of what it means to be truly beautiful on the inside and out.

#2. Natalie over at Raising Miracles. I remember the first time I met Natalie in person. She and Dan were waiting at a restaurant for me and Chris to meet them for dinner. Anyone who knows Natalie knows that she has the most beautiful and welcoming smile. After talking for a little bit, our table was finally ready. Natalie went to visit the Girl's Room while the rest of us sat down. At this point I could barely hold it in and the moment Natalie was out of sight I blurted out to Dan, "Oh my goodness! Your wife is absolutely stunning!" I went on and on about her to Chris on the drive back. What a tender spirit and a beautiful face! No wonder her sweet family is so in love with her! This woman is an absolute gem and her strength and courage, which are so evident if you've ever had the pleasure of reading her blog, is an absolute inspiration to me.

#3. Christopher over at Rancho Del Rey Church Salt N Light Ministry. In spite of the fact that this Godly man is the love of my life, his blog is a blessing through and through. Although I'll admit that one of the first things I noticed about Chris was how handsome he is, I really fell in love with him when I saw his dedication to ministry. With a love of politics myself, I was eager to know a man so dedicated to a ministry that is so unpopular yet crucial. I know that anyone who passionately led a ministry revolving around "Politics and Religion" had to either be completely crazy about the Lord or a glutton for punishment. Chris' dedication to the Lord is an inspiration to me every day. I can say with complete honesty that he is my hero. I didn't think that a man who is both a warrior and so tender existed anymore... a King David... a man after God's own heart. Please take the time to check out his ministry blog... there is no doubt in my mind that he will bless your heart as much as he has mine.

#4. JM over at The Grewe Crew. I love this woman! If there was a separate award for Hospitality JM would win it hands down! Her loving heart opens her home to fellow Believers and unbelivers with such joy! If you spend even 5 minutes with The Grewe Crew you will learn something... many things... things of worth. I cherish the conversations and the laughter I have shared with her and in her home. The Lord has His loving hands in her life in such a huge way. It's a comfort to look at her and realize that women can be strong and tender all at the same time. I cherish this woman more than words can say and I thank the Lord daily for the example that she is to her fellow sisters. Read her blog if you want to see the adorable daughter that she is raising up in the Lord! You will see that her beauty was inherited from her wonderful mommy.

You are a treasure, dear friends. I love you very much.

That's White

I have so much to share about the Women's Retreat I attended this weekend... so many stories, so many crucial lessons learned, and so many blessings. However, that post is going to have to wait. I feel a much stronger desire to write about something even more important to me.

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Those who know Chris, know that he's truly a "one of a kind" man. I mean this in the funny sense and in all seriousness. He makes me laugh every single day, and laughs right back at me. He makes an elephant noise when I blow my nose from a cold because it really sounds like that. It makes me feel so much less self-conscious when he helps me find the humor in these moments.

I love how protective he is of me. He's so concerned about my health and this nasty cold/fever that I've had for two weeks. Without me asking, he walks over to me with a cup of water and medicine every time he sees me. Sometimes we'll be in the middle of talking and he'll hand me a glass of water and say, "Please take a drink, sweetie. It will help your throat." He makes me tea (and tries to make it taste as good as possible because he knows I'm not a fan of tea), and brings over ginger ale and saltines to help my stomach feel better. When he goes to the store, he gets things for when I come over to visit... things that he would never eat himself, but thinks would help me feel better.

When I came home from the Women's Retreat he and I went to The Rock Church. After the service we went back to his house and he made me some soup for my throat. I always like to brush my teeth after I have dinner, and so I had been using a spare toothbrush at his house whenever I came over for dinner. When I went to brush my teeth I noticed the former little blue toothbrush I had been using was gone. He had gone out and bought me a brand new pink toothbrush just because he knows I like pink.

My very favorite moment was him sitting next to me and listening to me go on and on about the things I learned this weekend. He had already finished eating his soup and I hadn't even touched mine, but his eyes never left my face. He smiled sweetly and held my hand as I talked for over an hour straight. When I was done, he put both of his arms around me and with the most tender voice he said, "You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in all of my life. You are absolutely amazing."

I have never known a man so tender and loving as Chris is. He blesses me and serves me in ways that I don't think anyone else would even think to. He is so selfless and always gives without ever expecting or hoping for anything in return.

The Lord gave me a more incredible man than I even prayed for... and I must say, he looks mighty handsome with his new "army" haircut. :) Oh sweet Lord, am I ever grateful and undeserving!


-Kelley

This Weekend

My sweet and cherished friends,

I will be ready to leave for the Women's Retreat in just a few hours. The Lord has been preparing me for this weekend for some time now. When I was asked a few months ago to lead worship, I knew that it was a gift from God. I had been praying that He would expand my music ministry and, since then, He has presented many additional opportunities as well. If our wonderful Lord is anything it's faithful.

I ask that you please keep me, as well as the other 40+ women attending, in your thoughts and prayers. The lesson being taught is in regards to Satan's lies versus God's Truth. I feel deep within that what we are going to be discussing this weekend is what each of us needs to let soak deep within our hearts. Women have more influence than we think, and we desperately need to make sure that we are being influenced my the Truth and nothing but the Truth.

Please also pray for me... that the Lord would use me to bring these women into the heart of worship. That the words of each song would go deep and would not leave them unchanged.

Please pray also that the Lord would use all of my spiritual gifts fully this weekend. That I would be able to reach out to unexpected people and make a difference for His Kingdom. "Give me a boldness, Lord."

"For what do I have if I don't have you Jesus?

What in this life could mean any more?

You are my rock, You are my glory,

You are the lifter of my head."

-Kelley