Remember When We Danced

Some of you have asked me how I came up with the name for my blog. What is it referring to and who is it that I long to remember dancing with?

It was nearly 4 years ago that I decided to live a life in abadon of the world. To grab hold of the One who holds my heart in the palm of His hand and allow myself to be swept up in His love. I remember those days as if it were yesterday. The emotions I felt then are still with me now. It was a feeling of freedom, of complete surrender. The world's promises always came up void and I longed to know imtimately what true love really was.


It's funny to look back on my earlier days of Salvation and see how the Lord was shaping me and refining me even back then. Each step I took would serve a higher purpose in the days to come. Little did I know that each experience, each trial and persecution I faced, each tear that fell from the face of a broken child, would bring me one step closer to the Truth that sets me free today.


When I moved back to California in January of last year I made the choice to put all distractions aside and spend a year focusing on my walk with the Lord. Each night after work I would spend an hour sitting on the cliffs overlooking the ocean and just talk to God. I would share my hopes, my dreams, my passions and ambitions, my biggest fears and my greatest disappointments. It was in those moments, when I allowed my heart to be caught up in the presence of God, that I found myself falling in love with Him all over again. I remember the moments when my human heart could not contain the love I felt for Him. I was convinced that it would burst at any moment. Lord, I could not possibly love you more than I do right now. But, day after day, as I found my love for the Lord increasing, I found my love for others growing as well. I finally understood what it was like to see the world through the Lord's eyes and not the imperfection of my own.

I pondered many things in my heart during those quiet times with the Lord. Witnessing firsthand the beauty of His creation, the tenderness of His touch, and the intimacy of time spent in His presence, I found myself speechless. How could the God who spoke creation into being be so interested in me? I felt so undeserving of His love.


One of my daily prayers as I sat upon the cliffs was for the Lord to tell my future husband that I love him and that I can't wait until we have our first dance as husband and wife. As time passed, I found myself more and more distracted with thoughts of what he would be like and when I would meet him. One day, while thinking of him as I watched the waves crash upon the shore, tears of sorrow began to fill my eyes. I realized that I had spent so much of my day thinking and imagining my future husband when I already had the most perfect groom. I am the bride of Christ. My groom showed me the greatest love on Earth by giving up His life in order to save mine. Who forgets their first and truest love? I am so sorry, Lord. How could I have forgotten? Oh how I wept.

In the humble moments that followed my weeping, I felt the Lord lifting my head. "Come down to the water, My Darling" He whispered, "I have something for you." As I picked myself up and walked to the place where the waves meet the sand, I felt the Spirit in me stop. What is it, Jesus? What do You have for me? My eyes looked down at the sand as my eyes fell on a single purple flower resting beside my feet. As I picked up the precious flower and held it close to my heart, I looked up to the heavens. At that moment I felt the tender voice of my groom whispering, "I love you, Kelley. Will you dance with me?"


As I write these words to you, dear friends, I am so overcome that I don't feel as if I can continue writing. And so I will leave you with the words that I wrote to my groom the morning after we danced together by the sea with a purple flower in my hand.

"REMEMBER WHEN WE DANCED"

Good morning, O True Love of Mine
I dreamt of You last night
You carried me away with You
I never left Your sight

You brought me to a secret place
And smiled when I drew close
Your eyes were filled with tenderness
With every word I spoke

You took my hand and led me forth
Onto a blessed hill
That overlooked a sparkling sea
Of golden stars was filled

Though beautiful the sight had been
A glace You never took
Your eyes were fixed on me
And so I asked, "Why don't You look?"

"My Precious Love," You said to me,
"How can I watch the sea
When what's most beautiful of all
Is standing next to me?"

As tears began to fill my eyes
You gently kissed my hand
And asked me with a tender voice
If I would like to dance

The hours seemed like minutes
While we danced beneath the sky

As raindrops falling down from Heaven
Never let us dry

And when the choir of angels singing
Sang their final song
You whispered in my ear,
"How I've loved you for so long!

From the moment that My Father made you
I prayed that you'd be Mine
And I gave My life in hopes one day
Eternal Life you'd find

And when I heard you call My name
Some sixteen years ago
And say that you had chosen Me
And wanted Me to know...

I thought I'd died and gone to Heaven
For a second time
I fell down at My Father's feet
With tears of joy I cried

You see, I've waited all My life
To finally have the chance
To stand beside the one I love
And ask her for this dance

And now that you have finally come
I can't believe my eyes
For you are far more beautiful
Than I ever realized

And I can't wait until
You'll be forever by My side
And we'll walk the streets My Father built
And you will be My bride

But until then, My Precious One
If you should get a chance
Whenever you see raindrops
Please remember when we danced

And know that I will come for you
Though you will not know when
I promise you, my Dearest Love,
That we will dance again."

My Precious Lord, my Truest Love,
I have no words to say
And so I simply pray for rain
And wait until that day.

---------------------------

by Kelley Downing

12/06/2008